The Road Not Taken

It's funny that parenting can be lonely given how common parenting is. On days when I feel that I'm in my own little universe, it is helpful to remember that millions of parents surely must have had the very same thoughts as I do, such as:

Thought #1: How can I spend all day trying to create order, yet the day's end looks and feels like chaos?

Thought #2: In any given situation, which is better: try to model kindness or play the stern parent role? (I brood on this one a lot.)

Thought #3: The right answer to #2 has got to be the one I did NOT choose!

Anger with a Touch of Love

This weekend, Clara and June got mad at Will. I have no recollection why, nor do they. But they wrote a very important note to express their feelings:

Translation: "Will is not alawd in are rume Love Clara and June heart heart heart heart Clara heart June heart." Quite a gushy admonishment, I'd say.

It's a good reminder, to lace our expressions of anger with a little bit of love.

Haikus

We have a quasi-tradition in our family to include a Haiku on our holiday cards, when we manage to send them. Since the poem is a throwback to our own 4th grade poetry in the 70s, many people are probably a bit confused by the jarble of words. One year, we got giddy late at night and found amusement in the following:

Three little cherubs

Wish a happy birthday to

The fairy Jesus

Clara was into fairies that year and had recently asked if Jesus was one, too. We thought it was quite funny, but when even my sister expressed shock at our card, I felt a little sheepish.

Still, we've stuck to the tradition - just because it's nice to do something different and we can't think of anything else. So here are a couple of contenders for this year:

Based on June's doll, Jeff offered:

A magical birth

On Christmas (or any day)

Sweet Clospar arrives

Will sounded like a young poet with this one:

The moon shines at night

Raining white light on the earth

Making all shadows.

Hopefully, we'll decide on one before the theme changes to Valentines.

Greed

The kids are out of school. We spent the morning in the kitchen and playing games. Then, thanks to Greed, the afternoon was remarkably smooth. Will, Clara and June made out their Christmas wish lists and were united and consumed in their "I want, I want, I want" euphoria.

P.S. When I fix my broken camera, pictures will follow...

Avoidance

We're not avoiding the birds and the bees conversation. Really. We just didn't realize (until Jeff watched it himself) that the Planet Earth-like bug movie we got for Will was really insect pornography. We may some day need to help transfer his knowledge to the human world, but at least we don't have to guess about his current level of sophistication.

Giving In

Lately, I am aware of the many moments when our kids are in suspended animation. It seems so unnatural, but at the same time, these circumstances are necessary to get from a to b, or just from hungry to fed:

• John, strapped down in his carseat (it always seems so unnatural) just waiting to get where we're going and be taken out. Or if we're already home, waiting there as I cart groceries and such from car to kitchen.
• The girls, standing before us at night with mouths wide, waiting to get their "finish" for brushing teeth.
• Everyone waiting for turns.
• June, holding my hand, just looking around while I chat with other moms.
• John, strapped in to his stroller, waiting for a push.
• John and June, strapped into the burley behind the bike.
• The kids sitting at the dinner table, waiting to be fed.
• John and June sitting behind a wheel in a grocery cart, with the cruel illusion of being in charge.

I prefer to feel in control of my life, and really want my kids to be in control of theirs, too, but a little bit of giving in sure helps everyone's sanity. Most often, the kids are in motion, in charge of their fate (with a small f). But in these moments when they're so vulnerable and dependent, I want to cuddle them up and say thank you, for choosing not to fight my dominion!

Engineering

Today, we went on our first hike of the season. I love cold weather hikes - the sunlight, the crisp air, the feeling of clarity. But, there was one more motivating factor: I want my kids to remember hiking in Chautauqua, all through the seasons, as part of their childhood.

Then it dawned on me: I'm like an engineer. Of the genetic variety, just post-birth.

All parents are really. You have to be. You have to plan. And you can't help but expose your kids to what you love at the expense of other things. It's not slimy. It's just something to be aware of. And goodness knows, there are plenty of times when it all feels like a big science experiment, so a little directed engineering is ok! Right?

Check out the tights June wore for our hike! Can't engineer that! (Nor can I engineer the picture so you can see the whole thing!)