Adapting - A Lesson - Really

As a parent, I think it is important for my kids to learn to be adaptable.  Adaptability might not always have the greatest appeal.  It sort of straddles between the positive undertones of "flexible," "resiliant" and "forgiving" and the negative connotations of "avoidance" and "milk-toast."  But this week, in the midst of holiday activity, I am aware that in four particular circumstances, I am teaching my kids how to be adaptable:

First, the mice.  They come in our house, and we just rearrange the food.  Our pantry is wonderfully mouse free because all our food now sits on the kitchen counter where they cannot climb to get it.

Second, the heat.  We currently have none.  So, I found our trusty space heater and we're all nice and cozy in my room, three in sleeping bags on the floor and three on the bed.  Ah, togetherness.

Third, the smoke alarm.  It gave such a lovely chirp all night long.  In response, we (a) covered our heads with pillows, and then (b) successfully removed it into submission.  We even found, during breakfast preparations, that it works wherever we place it.

Fourth, the lights.  Our dining room lights don't work, so we've seized the darkness and now enjoy intimate candlelight dinners.  When the bathroom lights broke, we simply moved in a lamp.  And although I spent hours hanging lights outside, when the plug stopped working, we just moved the lights to the tree.

Maybe in another blog, I'll recount lessons to the kids on being proactive, placing important phone calls, developing practical skills, speaking up.  But, this post, and this time, is all about adapting.

Tree Luck

This past weekend, our family cut down a Christmas tree in the mountains.  It was a first.  And it was based on luck really.  Any other Colorado winter's day, our "family car" would not have made it up the steep, icy road.  But the clouds parted, and all future tree-seeking days are doomed by the comparison.

The initial hike was a bit daunting, but again, the warm, blue-sky day saved us from: 

- Clara's self-imposed snow down her boots, 

- June's wet coat after making about 100 angels,

- Will's pre-teen rejection of winter coats, and

- John's refusal to get out of the back-pack.  (Actually, that's a good thing, any weather).

I really tried the whole time to hold my tongue.  I learned this from a hike with J.J. in the 9th grade.  He told me he could only handle so many "Oh, this is so beautiful"s.  It was a good lesson. I know my kids would pass along a huge thank you. 

Anyway, the price for holding my tongue was to scream "This is so amazing!" in the form of 1,000 pictures in about 1 hour.  (Aha! Maybe that's the source of my photography obsession:  repression.  Again, thank you J.J.  Are you reading this?)

So, here are just a few:

Wrapping and Rotting Potatoes

In our house, we are beginning to wrap.  Earlier this season, on a pretty day, with rotting potatoes in the kitchen, we brought some brown paper and red ink outside.

Will chose the job of whittling the potatoes and came up with trees and wreaths.  Clara and June stamped.  John... I don't remember.

Their attention span didn't last as long as I'd hoped.  I will likely come up a little short.  But it is nice to remember that day as I wrap.

Advent - Give or Take

With the holidays in full swing, I finally got a handle on advent calendars.  It has been a multi-year process, but I figured out something that feels good.  It will continue to evolve.  (In fact, I've only sewn up to December 12th.)  But, here is how it works:

On red tree days, the kids get a gift that comes in the red bag.  Then on green tree days, they give a gift.  Their instructions are written on a little scroll.

Both with giving and receiving, the gifts are things that were already on our list.  Here's are examples:

GIVE:  toys to the local "share-a-gift," granola to our neighbors, bread to the homeless shelter, peanut butter pine cones to the birds.
GET:  socks, vitamin water, pencils, mints, gum

I don't mean to sound too pleased with myself in this post.  Believe me, I really have no room for that.  I'm just happy to have landed on this small ritual that at least makes an effort to highlight the giving and reciveing this time of year.  Especially given the childlike tendency to focus on receiving.  (Their wish lists are pages long...)

Homeade Part II - June's Sling

I finally finished making a baby sling for June's baby "Brown Eyes."  ("Sparkle Eyes," the twin, gets to ride in it, too, but Brown Eyes is #1.)

June deserved a sling.  Her babies are always close.  I thought she'd eat it up.

The inspiration came from an old bridesmaid's dress / skirt.  (Thanks, Katie.)  By cutting off the bottom, it was a nice easy transformation.  Still, it took a while to get it right.  Brown Eyes always seemed to fall out, so I added some ribbon to the edges and thought it was a great fix.

But, this homemade creation quickly fell into a certain category:  neglected.  I envisioned lots of use, lots of cuddling, almost a permanent accessory.  Instead, it quickly got tossed into a pile, rarely to resurface, despite all my great expectations.

Oh well.  It was fun to envision its use, and it was not that big of a deal to make.  Just one of many parenting lessons about moving on.

Wild Turkeys

On a hike earlier this Fall, our family came upon a whole flock of wild turkeys.  We'd heard that they could be found around Heil Valley Ranch.  For years we'd looked for them, but this was our lucky day.

I've come across wild turkeys a few times in my life.  Once in Arkansas and about five times in Virginia.  Seeing them feels different from other wild animal sightings.  It's always unexpected, yet seemingly ordinary at the same time.  They are such familiar animals, but unfamiliar on the trails, certainly those that I walk.  It seems surprising that they could always be around, and more surprising that I hardly ever see them. 

I am thankful for experience of seeing these turkeys in the wild, and I am thankful for the mystery that they evoke.  I am thankful for the mysteries that the holidays can evoke, too.  Although so much is tradition and repetition and ritual to bring out our best selves, surprises can creep through our predictable routines and even our predictable selves.  

Today, we lived our family routines:  Turkey Trot 5k, last minute trip to the store, park time and sports, lots of kitchen time and feasting.  But to be honest, conflict and worry penetrated even a day like today.  

And so, I find solace in those elusive wild turkeys.  Thanksgiving reminds me of the wild turkey mystery of gratitude and forgiveness and family.  I put faith in those mysteries, today and beyond. 

These two posed photos are from a recent visit to a farm.  

Homemade Part I: Pillows

In anticipation of a big road trip this past summer, I made some pillow cases for the kids.  

I picked out materials that fit each personality, and a shape on the front that did the same.  I admit, they were for me as much as they were for them.  It made me feel good to see them cozy up with something  they know I made special just for them.  Plus it might help them sleep.   

I finished the last one mid-trip.  I tend to sew everything by hand so it takes a long time.  But, I like the process.  Plus, I don't have particularly good karma with machines.  But, I think they enjoyed watching each stitch and claiming it for their own.

Now, the pillows stay close in every bed and come on every road trip, big or small.  In other words, they continue to be my gift to me.