Monday, September 29, 2014
Friday, September 19, 2014
Apples
After school, John and I made a pie.
While it is easier to experience the ideal in a picture than to live it, we grabbed about 5 minutes that did actually feel idyllic. Our formula went like this:
- Catch a beautiful Fall day.
- Find a quiet porch surrounded by trees.
- Don't worry too much about a clean table, or clean people for that matter.
- Produce a bunch of apples and an old fashioned apple peeler. (The old-fashioned always seems to up the idyllic factor.)
- Seize on a five-year-old's curiosity for stabbing an apple and turning a crank.
- Hold his attention for say 5-10 minutes tops.
- Get educational with the apple peels. (If I form almost all the letters by default, maybe he gets something out of it.)
- Add a loyal dog, if possible.
I do have to move fast to keep John's attention and squeeze in these scenes that make me feel so good. Granted, after 15 minutes of apple peeling, I moved on to assemble the pie, while John made airplane fighting sounds with a pencil.
But, I somehow have faith that these 5 minutes do get mileage, in the form of connection (to the season and each other), a sense of accomplishment, and a memory. I know the memory sticks because John's siblings came home and talked for 5 minutes, about their 5 minutes last year, doing the very same thing.
But then again.... maybe it's the pie.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Police Officer Parenting
Today, my son begged and begged for a thing I just couldn't (and shouldn't and wouldn't) deliver. We were at a park, and he wanted to find "Poppy," the perfect acorn. Nothing fit the bill. I couldn't make it right, nor could a genie in a bottle or a million dollars. Yet, sitting with an agonized child, sitting with their agony, is not a simple task.
Also today, I begged and begged a police officer to give me a warning rather than a speeding ticket. The traffic and construction crossing town was unpredictable, and about 1/4 mile from school, I got stopped. I don't think the officer felt my agony, nor did he feel any agony in giving me the ticket.
I don't want to parent like a police officer. I don't want to set my kids up to expect rigid people and a rigid world. I want them to feel room to be creative, with words and deeds. But, I also want them to go the speed limit, and accept cold consequences when they come, be it a lost acorn or a humiliating fine.
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